Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Bachmann Diaries: I'll Settle for Congress
We had to cut our vacation short so I could come back to Minnesota and speak at a pro-life rally in St. Paul. Marcus was so upset-he said he had big plans that would have changed his life for the better! I feel SO guilty, but I have to put babies ahead of everything. He'll be fine. When we got home, he had a message from one of his clients, Alejandro, who desperately needed Marcus to fly to Miami and help him through a crisis.
I decided to run for Congress again. Being a senator would be fun, but it's so much work. In Congress, I really only have to show up once or twice a month, and I can work much harder here in Minnesota getting child labor laws overturned and making abortion illegal as a congresswoman. My most important goal for the next year is making it illegal to be a HOMO in Minnesota. I mean, seriously, it's a bunch of old Norwegians-they'll go along with this.
Obummer gave his State of the Union speech last night. It was awful. All he wants to do is take money away from rich people! Oh, and he wants to spend defense money on bridges and poor people. How un-American! We need all our defense money to blow up Iran! He is so stupid. Mitch Daniels gave a good rebuttal, but Steve could have done a much better job. I wrote a few things down, in case they asked me to do it, but they didn't. I don't know why. I did a great job the last time.
I was going to bring up the FACT that he is not American, that he is a MUSLIM, that he hates babies and loves HOMOS. He wants to spend more of our money on technology. Why? Everything I own is from China, and I love China, except for that whole they kill babies and eat them part. We should be a lot more like China.
Mr. Franken must be very happy that I am not taking his Senate seat. I could have, really easily, but Marcus and I had a chat and decided I am a better congresswoman. Besides, since I won't have to be in Washington very much, Dr. Duke and I can go to Iran and blow up our embassy there.
Marcus and I still have not gone to Cuba to check out those missile silos built by Hezbollah. I hope we can get a team together soon, because Spring Break in Miami is right around the corner, and I would hate Hezbollah to blow up all those college students because Obummer is too busy saving poor people to notice TERRORISTS shooting missiles at Florida.
I found "Thelma and Louise" at Blockbuster. I think I'll watch it tonight while Marcus is out of town. Super curious why he is so obsessed with the ending of this movie, and why he was so upset when we turned the rental car back in. He kept crying and saying "I just needed to get to the Grand Canyon, and everything would have been fine!" Hopefully, the movie will help me understand!
Remember, Diary, we always have 2016! I have a good feeling about the next presidential election! Godlandia will be real, I just know it.
© Erin Nanasi 2012