Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
GOD DAMMIT! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! HOW DARE THEY? JESUS CHRIST I HATE THEM SO MUCH.
assholes liberal media did it again. They are attacking my perfect family, my amazing husband and my 257 former foster children that I raised from the cradle to the grave. I calmly told them that my family is off limits. So NOW some stupid bastards reporters have dug up comments I made about Michelle (my name is prettier) Obama during the 2008 presidential campaign, and saying that if I can attack her, why can’t people attack Marcus and my 257 316 484 514 foster children and my real kids, wherever they are.
I’m WHITE YOU PRICKS obviously, as a black woman muslim wife colored person in America, Michelle (I do like my name a lot better) Obama is used to being attacked, while Marcus, being a straight, white WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN…American male, is not.
Marcus thinks we need a vacation. I think I need to bring a loaded gun with me wherever I go and the next time some
socialist dickwad liberal reporter asks me a question about my perfect husband, and my 873 foster children, and my GOD DAMN my
God is good. Amen.
Wow, I feel a lot better. I am curious how The Onion found out about my little problem, though. I need a hug from Steve. SHIT.
Michele (with only ONE L the way it’s supposed to be)
PS-That Muslim foreigner in the White House is making my life a living HELL.
© Erin Nanasi 2011
I have to confess something, Diary. I have a HUGE crush on Steve King. I love my wonderful Marcus, but he is so busy with curing HOMOS, and finding therapy-type videos on the Internet, and watching those educational German movies all night and his book club, I hardly ever see him. Spending time with Steve made me feel like a woman, not just the next President of the WHITE Christian United States of America. I think I’ll put that on our money after I get rid of all the socialists. Oh, Steve King. He’s super neat. He loves Jesus and hates everyone who doesn’t like ME!. He believes Obummer (that is sooo much fun!) is a Muslim, just like I do, and neither of us believe for one second that he’s a real American. He was born in Kenya, and he should go back there. And his nanny state wife should go with him. Nursing is cool, and all, but MORE tax breaks for poor people? I never had a tax break in my life, and neither did my family, who has been in Iowa since the Middle Ages. And if you give poor women tax breaks, they’re going to have more colored babies, and then the master race society Steve and I want will never happen!
You know, I think the rest of these presidential candidates are morons. I mean, I am THE ONLY ONE talking about Russia as an enemy, which they totally are. I’m the ONLY ONE who celebrated Elvis Presley’s birthday, and he was the best American rock singer ever. I’m the ONLY ONE who understands this Standard and Pool thing, and that raising the debt ceiling was a horrible idea. It’s like Marcus keeps reminding me: no matter what the reality, I was proven right. We should have just tossed out
everyone the liberal leeches who don’t pay taxes. Yep, them. And all those welfare queens who make thousands of dollars a month for doing nothing, and then never pay taxes. Don’t those minority sponges poor women realize that they don’t have to give birth to the little snots angels to get money. I took in 467 foster children for the monthly check, and I could return them when they got too big.
After all, we made our money the hard way – with Medicare payments to our
Obummer (still fun!) wants to cut our military. He wants to cut defense spending back to nothing. None of our soldiers will get paid and Russia will invade us. You know what they’ll do? They’ll put in those light bulbs that kill pets, poison our drinking water with Fluoride, and give guns to more
colored people ’undesirables’ and we’ll all be slaves to someone named Vladimir. Maybe that’s Obummer’s plan. After all, I heard on the radio that he was trained by the KGB when he was a kid. Or maybe I read it in World Net Daily. I love that paper, they tell the truth about everything-the fake
I won the Iowa straw poll, just like I knew I would. T-Paw crumbled like a cookie, just like I knew he would. And then Ricky Perry announced HE’S running. I don’t think so. I’ll destroy him just like I did Timmy. None of them can beat me. I’m pretty, I’m smart and
white freedom loving Christian HOMO fearing Americans love me. They proved that on my bus tour. OH! Speaking of
Dear Lord, thank you for making me so perfect and for keeping me strong when Steve King and I were on the tour. Lord, he is the most masculine man I have ever known, but I love my Marcus, and I will be true to our
friendship marriage. Thank you for showing the white Christian Americans the light and making them vote for me. I will be the best president in the whole world, and I will give speeches that put Kennedy’s “The Buck Stops Here” speech to shame. And, hopefully, this whole Perry THING will go away. I’ll make it go away if I have to. LOL! Seriously.
Diary, time to sleep. I’m so tired today. Between celebrating Elvis’s birthday, teaching Marcus to dance and dealing with my poison ivy, I’m exhausted. I wish I knew how I got poison ivy on my scalp. Maybe it had something to do with all those little squirrel skeletons…who knows.
President of Godlandia,
© Erin Nanasi 2011