It's been a very hard and sad week. A bank robber named Michael
In order to get the facts behind all the liberal rhetoric, I called my BFF, Sean Hannity, to find out the truth, and discover what it's really like to be a black man in America. I'm going to put the interview here first, then Sunday, after church, write it up for World Net Daily. Hopefully, it will go viral, because if anyone knows about the black experience, it's Sean.
(I will be QB for Queen Bachmann, and Sean will be SHIT for Sean Hannity Interview Topic.)
QB: Sean, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to chat with me today.
SHIT: Michele, of course. You and I have been friends for such a long time, and I love what you and Rep. King did in Texas a few weeks ago. Boy, you two had a lot of fun!
QB: Well, Steve and I have fun wherever we go, whether to Joplin to tour the storm damage, or to Texas to watch illegals get shot. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Ferguson, and of course, that brave officer, Darren Wilson.
SHIT: Michele, no one knows about the black experience like I do. As you know, I have a slightly olive complexion on camera, so people often assume I am Mexican or mixed race. And I have been discriminated against, mostly by Rachel Maddow, Jon Stewart, Lawrence O'Donnell, Mediaite, and other left-wing communists.
QB: Have you ever been shot by a police officer?
SHIT: No, of course not, because I would never steal cheap cigars, or try to smoke the pot, or threaten a person with a firearm. I own many firearms, and respect everyone's right to own how ever many they want. Except thugs, looters, commies, liberals, and Howard Fineman. Police officers have the most stressful job in the world, next to being a congressperson or a journalist for Fox News, and I respect them far too much. When I had a break in at my Hampton estate, our local police were extremely polite and thorough, even asking me if I had any colored staff members who might have committed this awful crime.
QB: Oh my gosh, was anyone hurt?
SHIT: No, thank goodness, but they stole my wife's entire collection of Dreamsicles, including a very rare black Dreamsicle wedding cake topper. Michele, tell me, if there were racism in America, would there be any such thing as a black Dreamsicle wedding cake topper?
QB: That's an excellent point, Sean. Now, let's talk a little bit about Darren Wilson. I understand good, Christian Americans have raised almost $250,000 for his family and legal fees, is that right?
SHIT: It is indeed. While the liberal media was whining about a police officer doing his job, and ignoring the thousands of looters and thugs, decent, patriotic Americans started a fundraiser for Darren Wilson. I say God bless them.
QB: Sean, you have to feel badly for
SHIT: Michele, I feel awful for his family. It's always the loved ones who pay the heaviest price when young people choose to lead a criminal life. Smoking the pot, stealing cigars, walking down the middle of the street. Really, I just want to reach out to his family and give them a gentle hug. Maybe a handshake.
QB: Were you surprised to learn that the early reports of Darren Wilson's injuries were false?
SHIT: I'm still not convinced they were, Michele. Michael Brown was stoned out of his mind, he had already committed grand theft larceny, and he was huge. Almost 7 feet tall from what I understand, and he weighed over 350 pounds. If you saw someone hopped up on God knows what charging towards you, what would you do? Why, you'd stop him any way you could. Unless he was Shaquille O'Neal of course.
(Diary, I had to look up how to spell that-I'm not good with "ethnic" names.)
QB: Sean, I know you need to dash off to a meeting with David Koch, so I thank you so much for this talk! This was really fun, and I'd love to do it again.
SHIT: Michele, it is always a pleasure to speak with you, and I hope to be calling you Madame President someday.
End of interview.
Sean Hannity is so wise.
Diary, this was very tiring, so I am going to take a bubble bath while Marcus paints my toenails.
Hugs and Kisses-Queen Michele, future ruler of Godlandia.