You know how much I love Marcus, and how firmly I believe in marriage between one
He is so masculine, and he just smells so good. When we first met, it was Old Spice, but he's changed his aftershave over the past few years. First, it was Brut, which was WOW, and now, it's something that smells a little like key lime pie, but spicier. He still chews that minty gum, and his hands still smell like gun oil. Steve reminds me of an old-fashioned cowboy-muscular, down-to-earth, honest to the core, and a true American patriot.
We went to Texas a few days ago, to assess the illegal immigrants down there on the border. I went because I am having a hard time believing the liberal media's claim that these are all children. I think they're circus dwarfs, disguised as kids. You put a Hello Kitty backpack or Transformer tee-shirt on a grown-up midget, and you can't tell the difference. Steve went to be with me because he shares my concerns about all these
I watched an illegal "pregnant woman" come into this country illegally on a raft with coyotes. I overheard border agents call someone a coyote, and I had to ask what that was. All that came to my mind was a pack of wild dogs, dragging these Mexican criminals through the desert, but it turns out that's a nickname for the horrible men who bring all these awful people into our
I think that "pregnant woman" was probably a midget, with a pillow under her shirt.
Secretly, Diary, I love the idea that Steve King thought my posterior was so attractive, he had to take a picture of it. I do work out a lot, and I am proud of the way I look. It makes me angry that you can see the line of my shirt tucked into that skirt. I tried for almost 15 minutes to smooth that out, but I guess I should have just worn a girdle or Spanx. Look how cute my hair looks in that little bun. Why did I wear a black polo? I should have worn my American flag shirt, but Marcus told me that didn't go with the skirt.
I had such a wonderful time with Steve. We managed to blame Obama for everything, just like in Missouri, because if we let people know the truth, we'll lose the House in November. Roger Ailes and Karl Rove explained all of that during a top-secret meeting in Donald Trump's office a month or so ago. We have to keep the public convinced that everything Congress is doing is for the betterment of this country, not because our rich handlers send us memos every morning, telling us what to do. My rich handler is David Koch. He has lovely teeth.
Well, I am off to another interview, I think. Or it's mani-pedi day. Either way, fun!
Hugs and Kisses, President Michele Bachmann
*H/T to my dad for the photos, and to revisit Shelly and Steve's visit to Missouri, click here. To watch a pack of wild dogs smuggle a pregnant little person in a raft over the Rio Grande "ocean," click here. Warning: That's Breitbart's website, so don't punch anything.